Trying to focus on better things so 2026 will not be so sad all the time.
~ I've been learning to pray more specifically for those I love. It is so encouraging when you see Father God at work, in ways you did not think possible!
~ We had a good doctor's report from Robert's MRI. (Due to his imbalance issues a new set of x-rays, tests and an MRI were issued for the shunt and it's tubing.) It was originally placed in 2008. It reads the pressure in his brain and opens the valve if the fluids are not draining.
~ They found no abnormalities, or malfunctions! The shunt is still working even though it has lasted seven years longer than projected. No kinks in the tubes and no sign of hydrocephalus! (I prayed specifically that either the cerebral fluids were flowing down his spine as they normally would, or that the shunt would not have to be replaced.) I am full of amazement and gratefulness that he will not have to endure another brain surgery!
~ I also prayed specifically about the tumor (acoustic neuroma) in his right ear. It went dormant after the laser surgery in 2010. Within a couple of years, it began to shrink away from his brain. Six or seven years later it was still dormant but hadn't shrunk much. I've been praying that it would not begin to grow again, and that it would shrink more. The Lord has gone above and beyond my wildest imagination, the tumor is almost completely undetectable! not only is it dormant, but it has also shrunk away to nothing!
~ I got to see my grandkids in the park the evening after Christmas. It was beautiful. All the trees are decorated in lights, and there are huge candy canes, presents, deer, and ornaments all lit up through 5 or 6 blocks. It was good to hug Kolton. He is so sweet. Then I gave them their gifts to open at home. I hope they liked them. I know I have to let them go, live their lives, and not make it worse by pushing the issue. I have to be tougher or calloused or something, I guess. It hurts too much to keep going like this. I pray for healing for all of us. So many things are not what we perceive them to be. Offenses are often based on things that are not true. I know I am guilty of that! One day they will know how much I love them and miss being a part of their lives.
~ They are driving 5 hours to spend time with Marvin, Kyle's dad, their grandpa, my ex. At first this hurt so much, like daggers in my heart, because I am right here. I've been right here. I quit my classes, made myself available 24/7 to take care of them while Kyle had treatments or surgery, or ER visits. I'm still here, but it was seven months of not seeing them at all. Missed my birthday, grandparents' day, Kylynn's birthday, and we had no kid's at my house for the holidays. Rivers of tears all over again. But I had to put my selfishness aside, and my self-pity. If it is Marvin that helps them heal, then that is a wonderful thing. I will be happy for them and Thank God Marvin is there for them! Kyle was a lot like his dad, and I am sure there is comfort in his house.
~ My mother is 80 and widowed for 2 years now. She is doing well, far better than we anticipated as she battles a blood disease. My family was never close. My older and younger brother and I are close in age. (We were in foster homes for three years as teenagers. I was 13 when my youngest brother was born and 14 when my sister was born.) We all went our ways and kept up with each other for holidays or birthdays. Now we are all talking to each other, and we are helping our mother anyway we can. My sister stays with her now, and my youngest brother lives in the same town with her (Spokane Washington). My older brother is about 4 hours away, in Montana, and he drives over to spend time with her. He has also come down to Florida to spend some time with me after Kyle passed. It has been amazing to see my broken family become a fairly close family! So many answered prayers!
~ I have an amazing church family too. Close sisters that cry with me, hold me, and encourage me. My women's bible study and prayer team have helped me hang onto hope and faith when I completely shut down and doubt everything. I don't know how I would get through this without them. I am so very thankful for my friends that show up when I need them the most!
~ Prayers for an amazing awareness of the many blessings our Heavenly Father pours out on us! And prayers for healing and spiritual growth in 2026!
