Healed, girl on beach, inspirational painting

"Healed"

20 x 24 inches

This inspirational painting is full of symbolism. 

I started this as just a wave. Made it up for fun, but It kept making me cry as many of my earliest memories are from when my family was stationed in Hawaii. My step father was in the Coast Guard. He abused me, even burnt me once with a hot iron. So I prayed about it and began to see the root of the lies: believing I was unwanted and unloved, a terrible person from the start. 

As I worked on it, The Lord gave me a new perspective and his words of truth from scriptures in the Holy Bible. Forgiving others, renouncing the lies, forgiving myself, and accepting the Father's love have helped me overcome years of battling with bouts of depression. 

Life was hard: a different step father, more abuse, foster homes, and then failed marriages. 

While praying, I saw Jesus and me playing on the beach, and decided to put a little girl in the painting. Then I added the shadow of a cross, and the face of Jesus. I made the rain blowing away.  I added an angel dancing in the clouds, and a dove coming down the wave near the girls head, to symbolize the Holy Spirit. 

Then I noticed the shallow wave encircling the girl actually resembled a heart, so I enhanced it to symbolize the love of God our Father, the Good Father, who makes life turn around for good in spite of everything that comes against us.

Faith, the substance of things hoped for

So much sorrow in the world.  So much pain and suffering.  Not only from terrorists and evil forces, but just in everyday living.  We all have loved ones we ache for.

My pastor's wife recently shared a truth with me that has helped me walk through the shadow of death with my mother-in- law.  My husband also faces serious health issues. Sometimes I feel like my life revolves around suffering and death.

"Hold your hands out, palms up and say, 'Father, I receive the strength and the grace you have already provided for me for this situation,' instead of continually asking.  It's alright to ask, but we also need to receive!"

This is especially helpful when my faith is not so strong, and the tears have taken over.  Now I am seeing the Father's hand at work. Prayers are being answered, and faith grows.  Not just in me, but in those I pray for too.

May Daddy God, Abba Father, put his truth in your mouth as you do the work and study his word! May he bless you and your loved ones mightily!

Not walking in the shadow of death

My life has been enveloped in the sick and dying.  My mother-in-law (98 years old) has been in and out of the hospital many times the past few years.  This time she gave up for over a week.  My husband of 16 years, who is quite a bit older than I am, has also been through many serious life threatening events.  We have come through cancer, respiratory failure, two brain surgeries (non cancer related), and now severe COPD.  He and his mother have both been in the hospital at the same time this past week.  It threw me for a loop.  Spending so much time at their bed sides can be emotionally draining to say the least.

I started to head into a deep depression again, but this time I took some time out and went for a walk to clear my head. This is a splendid time of year in Florida.  The cool breezes and warm sun are amazing. I went for a walk at sunset up on the levy at the lake.  This is one of my favorite things to do to rise above the circumstances.  My husband is home now, and his mother is doing better, so that helps too.

While I was out walking, I saw this little area across the rim canal that was lit up with pinks from the sunset.  I have seen this little stream coming into the canal before, but this time I decided I needed to paint it.  So after supper I pulled out a large canvas and painted it! It was exhilarating to be inspired and motivated and stay up late to create something so compelling!  It pulled me out of the downward spin I was giving into.  

This world is on a downward pull, always throwing things at us to destroy us.  If we don't fight it, it gets overwhelming!  I am finding out some things that help me fight back: getting up early to have time to pray and have devotions, painting at work (even if for just for short periods of time), walks at sunset, playing Christian music, and painting at home in the evenings.

Looks like the shadow of death has moved on, and I am living again. Currently I'm working on some animal portraits, which is always my favorite subject matter! It is amazing that even in the middle of the pain and chaos I can find joy and see goodness and truth!

Goals

Trying to get back to painting more often and posting more too.  Seems like the most important thing (painting) gets put on the back burner more than anything else. Feels good to get up earlier to paint, and get back to better habits than watching tv or oversleeping!

Have to stay with it this time, and not give up.  Hard to be inspired these days.  Most of the time I am teaching art classes or creating frames, so I am really tired, and certainly not motivated.  So I have to make my painting time come first.  Then the rest of the day can fall into place.

Having said all that, now I must make it a personal challenge, and find ways to stay inspired. Paintings that have a deeper meaning, or that have things hiding in them seem to hold my interest the most.  But if they do not come together right off the bat, then I tend to put them aside and resolve them later.

 I need to plan ahead better, and stick with it.  Also, I need to not start the new ones until I finish current paintings.  When I enter some art shows I tend to get excited and finish up a few more too.

My problem is that I don't see  results very often.  A sale now and then, A commission.  A ribbon or an award here and there; it is all encouraging, but hard to make enough to make a living.  So I teach more classes, or take in more framing jobs. Then I don't have the time to paint.....not a good cycle.

I am open to hearing ideas on how you get inspired or what helps you stay on track.

Christ- Mass

It was called a mass for Christ.  Yet we focus on all the rush and business of this time of year.  Me included.  Just breath.  Slow down.  It isn't going to all be perfect, it isn't going to make every one happy, and I am not able to make it all as I think it should be!  So take a step back, laugh at all the stress and expectations and set them aside.

If I don't send the cards out on time, oh well.  If I don't get a certain gift for a certain child, oh well.  We have the whole year to give and bless and love each other!!!!  Why do we wait for one day out the year?

There, now I feel better.  Enjoy the beauty of the season, pray a lot, and ask God to show us how we can do something to help those in need, all year.

Merry Christmas!

way too long

Haven't posted anything is so long!  Loving my little gallery: Fawn's Studio and Fine Framing.  It has taken over my life -- in a good way. 

I teach after school art classes, and an adult class, and my work is on display. Also doing custom framing now!  All that and keeping up with original paintings and commissions.

I am trying to get some new paintings posted and do better at updating my websites, but so far it has escaped me as to exactly how to do all that and get some sleep.

I actually took the time to do a paint-out this past week, and I got to go to the beach with my grandchildren too.  So it isn't all work all the time!

Life is very rewarding these days, joy overflows, and I am so very grateful to be here.

back on track

Things distract me so easily. I get caught up in trying to do so many different things: Framing, teaching classes, and keeping up with grandchildren. I love it all, especially my gallery, but sometimes I need to get caught up in the flow of the paint. This month I have made time to paint most days, and I am really loving it.  Just finished a very large one, "Heavenly Highlights" and have two other fairly large paintings in progress.  I think I will try some miniatures too.

I am accepting commissions now as well, so if you want a custom painting don't hesitate to email me! fmcneillbarr@gmail.com

I am excited to be back on the right track. Life is too short, and I simply must create something to deal with all the chaos and stress!  

Have a blessed day....

Summer

Enjoying the nice cool snap we have had the last few days.  It has been hot and muggy already in the early part of May.  Really dreading the intense and miserable heat we endure in June and July, and even August sometimes.  But the winters are nice, and the this week it is cool and breezy and sunny.  Lovely.

Summer is great for my little art gallery.  I get to spend my days with children of all ages, working on various art projects.  This summer we will do some paintings in the style of Cezanne, and we will make some Chinese paintings too.  The weeks of hand-building in clay are usually the most popular.  And I try to include a week of color theory of some sort. The students don't know they are learning elements and art appreciation, they just have fun while I challenge their thinking!

You can check it out at www.FawnsStudio.weebly.com

too busy

Not sure how it all gets so hectic so quickly.  Seems like I have to say 'no' to more things just to fit everything in.  Something always gets dropped when I take on too much!

There are the art shows, and getting works done and framed. So much time and money in that!  Very little return on it too, plus damage to the paintings or frames.  But the exposure is good, and the attention is great. I have discovered that I really like all the attention.  Odd, I am usually the quiet one and try to keep things low key. Or at least I used to be!  Now I speak my mind and get myself into situations I should have stayed out of.  But I am getting used to this side of me, and I don't think I want to go back to being so un-opinionated.  That sure makes my husband laugh at me often.

Then there is the art classes, which I love, especially the very young children I teach.  Lesson plans, set up, clean up, and the actual time I get to work with the students.  They tug at my heart.  I am the greatest artist in their eyes!  Too cute.

I am also learning the trade of custom framing, high end too: very professional and very expensive. But the frames are amazing, and what a huge difference to finish out the art in high quality frames! 

Of course my life is full of family and friends too, and they come first when I am not at work.  At least I try to not get too involved in my work at home. So this is why I post less on-line and don't get the marketing done that I really should put more into! 

But I am happy -- truly happy.  Which is a big surprise because I have struggled with depression and motivation off and on for many years. But since my appendix ruptured just more than a year ago, and I went around for a few weeks dying, I really had to fight for my life.  Now I have a whole new outlook on everything!

Not sure why I needed to post that, but I wanted to share it.  Things do get better, it does take work, and it is worth it really! You have to be positive on purpose and look for things to be thankful for!

Undoing the traditions of stress

I am not sure how it happens, things just get out of hand.  Used to keep it all simple, like baking cookies for my friends.  Now I rush about trying to find the right gifts, trying to get something in the mail, wanting so much to use this opportunity to reach out and touch others as so many have done for me.  Yet I find myself in tears, frustrated, out of time, and out of money. I am not sure how I lost sight of the true meaning of this beautiful season.

Today I slow down, take a breath, and remind myself that if things are late then they are late!  If it doesn't happen now, it can happen latter!  I don't have to wait all year for one day to tell people I love them or to do something special.  It can happen whenever it happens.  America has made the Holidays into traditions of stress, and deadlines, and even worse, debt.

I heard this and it really helped me: make a plan, talk it out with your spouse, stick to your budget, and do something for the Lord first.  The rest will work out fine with or with out you!

So I am making some hand crafted ornaments, baking some cookies, and enjoying the kids.

Merry Christmas and have a very blessed New Year all year long!