A Little Off

 Really tough year:

~ Watched my son, Kyle, suffer and battle cancer.  He lost his left eye last December to ocular melanoma. Horrific. He has been undergoing cancer treatments for a small tumor near his kidney for most of this year.  Thankfully the tumor is almost gone! 

~ I lost a dear friend to cancer.  I miss her terribly.

~ I injured my right hand/wrist while doing yard work about five months ago (I'm right-handed.) Torn tendon. I reinjured it thinking it was fine after a month or so.  It went from bad to worse. Sharp pain and no strength.  Now I wear a brace that immobilizes my thumb and keeps my wrist from bending. Seeing an orthopedic doctor.

~ I have stopped teaching my after-school art classes for now. I'm still doing small semi-private groups. Which is actually a very nice pace. 

~ Actually started creating a painting with my left hand, what a mess! It is slow and cumbersome, but I'm making progress.  I'm surprised at how my left-hand cramps and gets tired so easily.  I did not realize how strong my dominant hand is in comparison!

~ I have seen the restoration of broken relationships as a result of these hardships.

~  I have become available to keep the grandkids at odd hours when Kyle has early treatments in Miami or has to rush to the ER.

~  I have learned to be patient when I'm in pain and/or overwhelmed with emotion.

~ I have grown in faith and found strength I did not know existed.

~ I'm still a little off, but I see everything differently now. I have truly grown.

~ I believe we are better off having overcome things and learning from them than staying stuck in old habits. 

Praying for better things in 2024! 

Amazing Frames

"Chilly Morning"

© Fawn McNeill 2005

Original Watercolor (Plein Air) 

Not available

• Artwork on paper like this should be framed behind glass with a mat around it to keep it off of the glass and protect it.  The same is true for photographs and prints on paper. 

• This frame has a fun pattern in gold.  The mat is a double mat with the bottom mat in a red accent. 

• Art created on canvas or wood should not be framed behind glass. 

• Original oils and acrylics are usually done on canvas or wood and need to breathe.  

• Artwork created on paper or mat board should be framed behind glass with a mat to keep the image off of the glass. This is true for photos, prints, and posters as well. (Glass can trap moisture and ruin the image.) 

• If you are purchasing a ready-made frame for an image on paper, be sure to add room for a mat, or purchase one with the mat.

• Art created on canvas (or wood) does not fit in ready-made frames that are designed for photos and prints.

• Custom framing can be quite expensive.  Everything is designed to create the perfect fit so the mat is centered around the art evenly.  The materials are acid-free and the glass has UV protection. Even the foam-core backing should be acid-free. 

•  Unfortunately, many shops do not use acid-free materials, or they will skip it for the backing. (Be sure to ask for it)!  Acid-free materials slow down the aging process that yellow and crack the image. 

• The frame moldings are often imported from Italy or France. The quality and the unique styles enhance the art and complement your décor. They are made to last for many years. 

(I am currently offering custom framing through Okeechobee Main Street's frame shop, by appointment only. I have over ten years of experience!)

Hot and destructive!

•  Must be the hottest summer ever! Up in the nineties and hundreds since early June. Humid too, feels like 115 degrees! It is hard to stay on task these days!

• I have destroyed nine or ten paintings in the past month.  Not out of frustration or anger, and not from the heat (I don't think), I just got tired of trying to fix older paintings that were never finished.  I thought I could brighten, rearrange, add more detail, or whatever. I thought I might like them better, but I decided it wasn't worth so many hours to try to resolve the issues.  It is always a risk to rework a painting, but sometimes it works out and the results are amazing, so I kept taking out another one and working on it until I saw that it was not working out.

• Each one ended up sanded down and re-primed, or thrown out. The underlying textures couldn't be undone and interfered with the direction I wanted to go.  Sometimes it is better to start fresh than to keep struggling through it.

• After the third time, I wondered what was really going on with me.  I haven't destroyed a painting in a long time. Why so many these days? Tired of so many unfished pieces? Don't care anymore? Frustrated?   
•  I'm still not sure what is going on with me, but I stopped pulling them out of storage - didn't want to destroy any more of them! (Some are worth the effort to hang onto until I figure out what to do with them next.)  

• Most of them were unfinished demonstration paintings that needed attention, but one was a medium to large painting that I wanted to go back over in a more impressionistic style, which I regretted that I messed with it.  But I didn't want to continue with the extreme detail I had started out with. Hours and hours of work just thrown out. 

•  My style is changing again.  I'm trying new ideas. Things don't come together like they used to. So I am backing off, searching for what really inspires me, and not taking it so seriously for now. 

• I am all over the place! I love detail, but I love painterly styles too. I like the abstract nature of reflections and moving water.  I like thick textures, but mostly on things like bark, wood, or rough water. I get bored easily and want to try new ideas and techniques.  

• Some judges have told me (over the years) that I need a consistent style and a more cohesive body of work.  But I honestly don't seem to be able to settle on any one way to create things.  I guess that's Ok too!

Joy comes

So many horrific things this past year:

1) In December 2022 my son, Kyle, lost his left eye to cancer.  Now he is undergoing treatment for a tumor near his kidney.

2) My husband has been in severe pain in his neck for several months and now in his lower back as well for the past two months.

3) My close friend, Sandy, has battled cancer off and on for years and now is back on a stronger treatment for cancer that has spread to other parts of her body.

4) Another close friend, Marie, lost her mother last year, and now her father has lost his leg to diabetes. 

5) I had heart issues that started last fall, (panic attacks, extremely low blood pressure, high pulse rates, racing heart, irregular heartbeats, an abnormal EKG, low blood count, abnormal size of blood cells. So many tests: more EKGs, Echo of my heart, extensive blood work, etc... 

I have cried a river of tears for my son and my friends.

But I have grown.  In the middle of all this, joy comes when you focus on the things you are thankful for.  

Good things have happened too:

1) I get to keep my grandchildren quite often, sometimes three times a week! 

2) This past week, Kyle had a good report: the tumor is shrinking.  So good to hear that!  

3) Yesterday, I also had a good report: although my heart was stressed and a little weak, and I had some borderline numbers in my bloodwork, they are still within the norm! The issues were stress related, and the symptoms are gone now.

4) Zac (my oldest son) and Ashly had a baby boy, Noah, last year.  He is a year old now. What a delight! 

5) I am back to painting more, even if it means getting up early or staying up late.  (I have a new gallery page with Daily Paintworks.  It has me challenging myself to create more.)

https://www.dailypaintworks.com/Artists/fawn-mcneill-15096

6) I am learning to take advantage of each opportunity to spend more time with friends and family (enjoying the simple things). 

 7) Incredibly, Okeechobee Main Street has renovated and set up an art center for its Arts and Cultural Alliance in my old building! Now I am teaching and doing framing for them!

I am grateful, stronger, and looking for the good that comes from the trials. I'm thanking the Good Lord for so many blessings.

 "Standing Tall"