Hot and destructive!

•  Must be the hottest summer ever! Up in the nineties and hundreds since early June. Humid too, feels like 115 degrees! It is hard to stay on task these days!

• I have destroyed nine or ten paintings in the past month.  Not out of frustration or anger, and not from the heat (I don't think), I just got tired of trying to fix older paintings that were never finished.  I thought I could brighten, rearrange, add more detail, or whatever. I thought I might like them better, but I decided it wasn't worth so many hours to try to resolve the issues.  It is always a risk to rework a painting, but sometimes it works out and the results are amazing, so I kept taking out another one and working on it until I saw that it was not working out.

• Each one ended up sanded down and re-primed, or thrown out. The underlying textures couldn't be undone and interfered with the direction I wanted to go.  Sometimes it is better to start fresh than to keep struggling through it.

• After the third time, I wondered what was really going on with me.  I haven't destroyed a painting in a long time. Why so many these days? Tired of so many unfished pieces? Don't care anymore? Frustrated?   
•  I'm still not sure what is going on with me, but I stopped pulling them out of storage - didn't want to destroy any more of them! (Some are worth the effort to hang onto until I figure out what to do with them next.)  

• Most of them were unfinished demonstration paintings that needed attention, but one was a medium to large painting that I wanted to go back over in a more impressionistic style, which I regretted that I messed with it.  But I didn't want to continue with the extreme detail I had started out with. Hours and hours of work just thrown out. 

•  My style is changing again.  I'm trying new ideas. Things don't come together like they used to. So I am backing off, searching for what really inspires me, and not taking it so seriously for now. 

• I am all over the place! I love detail, but I love painterly styles too. I like the abstract nature of reflections and moving water.  I like thick textures, but mostly on things like bark, wood, or rough water. I get bored easily and want to try new ideas and techniques.  

• Some judges have told me (over the years) that I need a consistent style and a more cohesive body of work.  But I honestly don't seem to be able to settle on any one way to create things.  I guess that's Ok too!